Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in Dan the Donkey's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 20th, 2003
1:30 pm	its been awhile but fuck yah i'm back ok so after waiting sometime i'm posting. i think my last post was on the first day of classes and now this post is the night before my first final. And i can't study for shit. i hate this. i keep rereading the first line of my review sheet and then i watch tv. the worst part is nothing is on. I miss my buddy nolf, cause if he were here he'd say what the fuck is wrong with you, go study! ( and then we'd get high). I will study eventually but i can't think of a good reason to start now. instead i'm just gonna wait for some food then i'll go study... no i won't I'll push it off more. I think the problem is that all week i've been trying to do something but everyone has had finals and now that they're all done i'm starting. God must hate me or something. he can't hate me too much cause in a few weeks i'm going to bonaroo and if i don't die i'll try to remember to talk about. any way nolf fuck you i did it Current Mood: bored Current Music: Phish - Marijuana (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
4:21 pm	thirsty people should drink ball sweat... its free So today was it the day i have been waiting for, for well over a year. My first day of classes back at UMD. Honestly it was awesome i had two classes criminology and the discussion. i learned a lot! My professor is working on her phd and this is her 17th class that she has taught at maryland. i think those were the first sentences out of her mouth cause at that point i stopped listening cause i looked up. Not only is the prof. hot so are both the TAs and all of them have great tits. now i know that noticing that first makes me look like a pig. well i might be but the reason i was so excited about it was that i now know i can stay awake and pay attention in class and i also have a great reason for going to class. So i'd like to thank God for looking out for a brother. outside of the whole funbag situation the class only lasted 17 minutes and they cancelled disscussions. So i've spent a year getting excited over a quarter of an hour worth of hedonistic oogling. Which if you ask me it was worth it. yeah i'm a pig Current Music: Blood Hound Gang - Lift Your Head Up High (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 24th, 2003
7:11 pm	today is my last day of "nothing to do" until the end of the semester. my next day off of work is tues and thats when school starts, then i either work, go to school, or both everyday. So i'm spending my day sitting in nolfs house with nothing to do and no one to hang with. i started off the day thinking "THANK GOD ALMIGHTY. i thought that fucking viking would never leave" but later about the time i was eating a burrito i realized that sitting by yourself all day sucks. So i got really stoned. and so far i've managed to accomplish absolutely nothing, i think i remember telling someone earlier that i couldn't hang out cause i had to go to the store and now i could use a friend but i can't remember who called and i think i lied cause the kid was a tool. but i can't be sure. the girls next door had something to do with pre-recruitment or some greek nonsense and they're not home yet. by the way if your fucked up and got no one to talk to play some golf, but to it through a video game system, because you might break a sweat going outside and that is just a waste of natural reasources. anyway so it looks like its gonna be this way for awhile yet. and then this corny ass song that usually cracks me up comes on and it makes me want my racist friend back (sidethought does smoking by myself for 6 hours make me a pothead, i hope not cause ...well actually i don't think i really care right now) so i can make someone besides myself laugh. did you know that laugh came from the latin word "laude" which which means "to give praise". cause isn't that what we do when we laugh.. i guess i'm just stoned and lonely want want to make someone else laugh so here -a woman is in the checkout lane in the grocery store and as the clerk is ringing her out he looks up and says: "cat food, olive oil, shampoo, milk, and bread, wow, you must be single." the lady replies "That's amazing you can tell that from looking at my groceries. How can you do that?" and the clerk. "I can't. your just uglie." that one always makes me laugh Current Mood: stoned & lonely Current Music: They Might Be Giants - Your Racist Friend (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
7:39 pm	you know what sucks about being nolf's friend. not only to i have to read all this shit about HOW HE'S SOOOOO MUCH IN LOVE, but the fucker doesn't stop talking about it either. "my life's so much better with her in it... i feel like with her its just a waste of time for me to pull out" alright he didn't say that second part, but all he talks about is her. how am i supposed to get my rocks off if she's got all his attention, huh? So to pay him back i just went to this chilli place and now i;m sitting in his room playing video games and getting rid of some lower adominal pressure. No seriously nolf sara you two are perfect for eachother and seeing your joy makes living my life better. i love you both. And given the chance i would LOVE you both. p.s. nolf sorry about the smell but farts are funny Current Mood: full Current Music: Phish - wild about bong hits (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
9:40 pm	RE: A Response to that solf-hearted pussy named nolf SO ARE BLOWJOBS Current Music: Ben Harper - Strawberry Fields Forever (5 Comments |Comment on this)
9:39 pm	SO ARE BLOWJOBS Current Music: Ben Harper - Strawberry Fields Forever (Comment on this)
7:56 pm	so i'm sitting at nolf's computer and i check my journal and guess what ... i can read all these post from all 25 of my friends and i only signed up last night.when i went to work this morning i only i only had 4 friends and three of them are ones nolf put on my list ( i think i have no idea how lj works). so i ask who the fuck are you people. i'm not complaining but i;m just confused. i feel like i'm in middle school again and my spanish teacher just got off my lap and pulled her skirt back up and that's when i remember i don't take spanish so who the fuck is this lady.so please if any of you read this let me know who your are. cause remember there is nothing worse than getting an std from someone you don't know, because than finding them to beat their ass becomes extremely difficult. p.s. if you read my first post and replied don't feel bad if i didn't reply back i was only able to do so for one person before i became confused on how lj works and couldn't find my way back Current Mood: confused Current Music: Phish - Down With Disease (7 Comments |Comment on this)
1:19 am	my first post well this is my first post and i really have nothing to say. so this is why i plan on just typing until my finger are worn down to nothing but bloody stumps and hope that something creative just might cum out. i guess i could start by talking about myself because i believe that is the whole point of this program that this asshole (and what a pleasing asshole it is) friend of mine made me sign up for. So here we go. I'm boring and by boring i mean add me to your friend list because i'm just boring enough to make you want to pass time living inside your first born son for the BEST 10 SECONDS EVER. which would make reading the offensive shit that i plan on posting very useful, and knowing that i could very possibly be the sole reason for largest jump in incest levels in the united states since the founding of west virgina, would put me in the highest state of ectascy ever known to man, FUCK YEAH keep in the family. Outside of that my balls sweat alot but i am proud to say i have never had a case jock itch in my life.... i have had crabs though so that might count. My dad would have to have been the largest influence in my life ... he's a drunk pot-head who hates his job but is proud to say he stopped beating his legit children on all of their 6th birthdays. Man was that a great birthday. i'm a middle child which is great because on either side of me are the two people i care for most in this world, (My left and right testicles). i like monkeys and not because they throw thier poo but because they throw thier poo at the fuckers that caged them and school teachers. i've had two true loves in my life which when most people don't have any i'm like an infinite times better off then them. They were a girl who i gave my everything to, (all 3 inches, don't question it) and she stomped on all of it in one of my best friends bed. theres her and bbb( Beer,Bud, and Bongs). My proudest accomplishmentis that i've managed to somehow surround my self with the worlds beautiful people who call themselves my friends (the fools). so with that i would like to dedicate my first post to them N,S,T.J.,P.J., T, R, D, S, L, R., M,fiji, V, all those other little people, and even the stomping bitch K. the funny thing is only two of them will probally read this. oh yeah i almost forgot GO JEWS they are fucking hilarious Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Bloodhound Gang - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying (10 Comments |Comment on this)